A sample IM conversation about the boys...

Is there anything else that can be said?

Kelly: seriously, I believe there is something wrong with the children.
Sean: oh geez what now
Kelly: They used to know how to close the door.
Kelly: I remember them knowing how to close the door.
Kelly: All of them.
Kelly: For some reason, none of them remember how to close the door.
Kelly: They remember how to open it and walk through it, but do not remember to reach for the knob and close it behind them.
Kelly: Keeping it locked all the time will not teach them to close the door.
Kelly: It will just eliminate the opportunity to close it.
Kelly: Connor had two pair of shoes at the garage door. 2.
Kelly: Does he put either pair on?
Sean: I am calling for fill dirt and bringing them some work home.
Sean: or a straight jacket
Sean: or a cattle prod
Kelly: No. He walks outside and gets into the van.....not 5 minutes after I said, "What are you doing in the van? Close the back hatch and do not play in the van."
Kelly: I go out to check on everyone and I can't find Connor. I said, "Where's Connor?" Luke says "In the van."
Kelly: I call his name and he opens the van door and goes, "Yeah, Mom?"
Kelly: "I just told you to get out of the van. Why are in the van?" "I had to get my shoes."
Kelly: "Those are church shoes. Are you going to church?"
Kelly: "No."
Kelly: "Then why did you go into the van when I said not to, and why did you put .............crap, now I am literally watching him get the front yard hose and play with it. Be right back.
Kelly: I go, "Why did you go into the van when I said to stay out of the van, to get church shoes when it's not time for church?"
Sean: and he says...?
Kelly: "I didn't know where my other shoes were."
Kelly: "You stepped over them right there at the door, Connor."
Kelly: Apparently they were in the van again earlier today and Luke wanted to lay down in the back where all the extra clothes were from our trip to B'ham.............hang on, got to go tell Connor to stop riding in circles on the front yard grass.........
Kelly: Connor starts throwing stuff in the van at Luke and so Luke starts trying to stick grapes in Connor's mouth, so Connor starts chasing Luke and Luke says he had to make a mad dash out of the van without his shoes and only his socks. So, he has new white socks with nasty dirty bottoms that will never come clean.
Kelly: Do you think God is telling me to write a book?
Sean: yes.
Sean: ABSOLUTELY.
Sean: yes.
Sean: I am already looking at our chat history in text form because I am going to put the transcript up on the blog... might as well put it in book form and make some money
Sean: and I also have Sherian calling around for prices for a trashcan full of gravel
Sean: $15.75 for 1/2 ton of gravel...
Kelly: dirt would be much better. Gravel will just end up all over the whole stinkin' yard and injuries will result from throwing handsful of it at each other.
Kelly: Oh, Luke was also wearing his church shoes too, BTW. When I asked why he said his school shoes have dog shit all over them from Sam's yard.
Kelly: I said, "Oh, well. Too stinkin’ bad. Walk it off."
Sean: I seriously want to find a truckload of dirt. two shovels. bucket of water with a ladle. let 'em work the next two days.
Sean: bread for lunch and supper.
Sean: and a rock to sleep on at night.
Kelly: waste of money.
Sean: no, I want them to fill those holes anyway.
Kelly: I can hear them yelling at each other in the garage through the house...and locked door. They only have one more day of this. Thursday we will be at the office so they'll be vegetables in front of the TV, and then Friday we're gone.
Kelly: Sean, they can't even pick up a piece of garbage, you actually expect them to do some skilled labor?
Kelly: Connor will see some sort of bug or lizard and decide to try to bury it with dirt and chase it all over the yard with shovels of dirt.
Kelly: tell them they have to answer to me when I get home... I am stopping at Walmart and getting toothbrushes and gonna stand over them while they scrub floors. we have GOT to LAY THE SMACKDOWN ON THEM!
Kelly: Luke will just quit and kinda walk around in circles.
Kelly: They haven't been exceptionally bad today, they just do stupid things without thinking.
Sean: ok... I STILL think I am gonna get toothbrushes and make them clean the bathroom floors
Sean: tell them to get their kneepads ready... floor scrubbing time! LOL