Guy Rules....

My secretary forwarded this email to me a while back and thought I'd add it here... Guys are always getting the shaft and getting blamed for stuff. We are always being told that WE are being insensitive to the plight of the women around us and our spouses... Well has anyone thought about how woman are insensitive and inconsiderate of US?!

Guy's Rules

We always hear the "rules" from the female perspective. Now here are the rules from the male side of life.

These are our rules!

Please note... they are all numbered "1" on purpose!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down, do you?

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it already!

1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are...Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions. Neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear IS fine....Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have to many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape.

1. thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight... but did you know that men don't really mind that? It's like camping.

Now, I will freely admit that a lot of these don't apply to Kel... she's one in a million and not into most of the (what she feels is stupid) girly girl woman attitude and mind games that can go on in a relationship. So now that I have given that caveat, maybe I WON'T have to sleep on the couch tonight. I don't like camping.