The Beasts are on the loose...
...so I'm driving home yesterday at around 5:15 and, pulling up to my driveway, I see Connor, Luke, and their friend Nathaniel playing in our front yard. They are actually enjoying raking the leaves! "Great!" I think, as I then see Nathaniel and Luke begin walking across the street to our neighbor's pile of leaves. Nathaniel with a shovel, and Luke with a rake, proceed to scoop up leaves from my neighbor's yard and start walking to my front yard. I stop the car and say, "Boys? What are you doing?" To which Nathaniel says, "We're just making a pile of leaves and we want a really big pile!" Of course I say, "Guys! Don't drag leaves from other yards into mine!" But Nathaniel just keeps walking! I say "stop" three more times as he continues to look at me as he walks to my yard with the shovel full of leaves. I finally have to stop the car in the middle of my street, get out, and walk directly to my children to get them to stop dumping the leaves o' the neighborhood into my yard! But it was my error... I forgot that the animal kingdom doesn't understand English.... and besides, they were probably just nesting... In the meantime, I guess I have begun a yard raking service for the rest of the neighborhood... wonder if I can make any money doing it.
...so I am walking into my house, and I tell Kelly how maddening the "leaf incident" was, and she says, "Want to get REAL mad? Come look at this." She leads me to the floor beside our (relatively new) couch, where we had recently put down a new bed for our OTHER beasts of the house (Max and Butch the beagles), and shows me about a three-inch diameter hole they had chewed in the upholstery on the side of the couch at the bottom! We now have the decision of leaving it blaringly damaged, patching it with non-matching fabric, or tearing up one of the couch's throw-pillows to use some of its matching upholstery fabric.
...and as we are walking back to the kitchen, simply laughing because there's really no other mentally healthy option at this point, Mitch comes walking up the stairs completely naked. Kelly simply says in a tone of utter defeat and learned helplessness, "That's at least the 10th time today he's done that. But it has been a good day... at least he hasn't pee'd on anything yet."
...so I am walking into my house, and I tell Kelly how maddening the "leaf incident" was, and she says, "Want to get REAL mad? Come look at this." She leads me to the floor beside our (relatively new) couch, where we had recently put down a new bed for our OTHER beasts of the house (Max and Butch the beagles), and shows me about a three-inch diameter hole they had chewed in the upholstery on the side of the couch at the bottom! We now have the decision of leaving it blaringly damaged, patching it with non-matching fabric, or tearing up one of the couch's throw-pillows to use some of its matching upholstery fabric.
...and as we are walking back to the kitchen, simply laughing because there's really no other mentally healthy option at this point, Mitch comes walking up the stairs completely naked. Kelly simply says in a tone of utter defeat and learned helplessness, "That's at least the 10th time today he's done that. But it has been a good day... at least he hasn't pee'd on anything yet."
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