The pain and joy of being a daddy...

Tonight I experienced overwhelming emotions across the entire spectrum with my two older boys, Connor and Luke. They each have their own pets - Connor a parakeet, and Luke a hamster. Well, tonight as we were getting the boys ready for bed, Luke came in the room in a panic. "Mom," he said, "I reached in to pet Spot and she didn't move. Is she sick?!" Kelly and I both go in there not expecting anything wrong, and sure enough, Spot is not moving. Luke, who loved this hamster more than anything, just broke down sobbing. We got her out, and she was just barely breathing and had her eyes open. We tried to give her water, but she would not even open her mouth. Of course seeing her eyes open gave Luke unrealistic hope, and we had to tell him that she was dying. He could not talk he was in so much pain and sorrow. I had brought the cage downstairs so it wouldn't be in his room, and he came down and asked if he could say goodbye. Kelly and I just sobbed as we watched our little 6 year old boy hold and cuddle his hamster and rub it against his cheek saying he loved her and telling her goodbye.

Then I was filled with pride and emotion as I watched Connor, Luke's older brother, walk in with a wad of cash. "Luke," he says, "here's my money out of my bank. You can use it to buy another hamster if you want." And Connor hands Luke almost $40 he has saved for months. They hug each other and as Luke says, "Thank you," Connor replies with, "It's okay, that's what big brothers are for."

As I am tucking Connor in bed and telling him how proud I was with what he did, he simply said, "Dad, I had to do something, it just hurt my heart watching Luke so sad."

For those of ya'll that know me and my boys, and how nuts they can drive me sometimes, right now I am having a hard time remembering any of that right now....

Who's on first...

Below is something I HAD to share with everyone who stops by. Here is a transcript of an email my wife Kelly sent out to family describing a conversation she had with Connor, our 8 year old son....

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What a frustrating day in our house. Mitchell has clogged the toilet twice, Connor and I have been working on homework for 2 hours, and Luke has changed clothes twice...all since about 3:00. This conversation struck me as so idiotic, I had to share it.

I had just unclogged the toilet for the second time and then while vacuuming I heard a strange thumping noise. No one screamed so I figured all was well and kept vacuuming. A little while later I walked past the 1/2 bath and saw a very large hammer on the floor. I braced myself for absolutely anything and asked what I thought was a straightforward, clear question with one of two answers:

"Who brought a hammer into the bathroom?" I asked.

"There was a spider," said Connor.

I said, "OK, but who brought a hammer into the bathroom?"

"I did," Connor said.

"Why did you need a hammer?"

"I told you. There was a spider."

"Where did you hit with the hammer?"

"I told you. On the spider."

"Yes, sweetheart, but where was the spider?"

"In the bathroom."

(Starting to grit my teeth a bit) "Yes, but where did you actually hit the hammer?"

"I told you. On the spider."

(I start looking around for cracks in the sink, holes in the wall, cracked toilet...)

Turning red..."Where was the spider when you hit him with the hammer?"

"I told you. In the bathroom."

"Yes, dear, but where was the spider crawling when you were hitting him with the hammer? Did you hammer the sink, the cabinet, the walls, WHAT?"

"No."

"Where did you hammer?"

"Around in here," pointing in a general area next to the toilet.

"Did you just hammer the floor?"

"Yes."

Starting to lose it a bit..."Could you please take the hammer and just pretending to hammer, please show me exactly what you did with the hammer on the spider?"

Connor proceeds to pretend to hammer all around the floor around the toilet.

I said, "Thank you. Now, where did you get this huge hammer?"

"Dad was going to hang a clock."

"OK, but when you decided to hammer the spider, where did you go to get the hammer?"

"My room."

"Take it back there, please."

I go into the bathroom to clean up the water around the toilet from it overflowing and guess what I saw on the wall next to the toilet? A curled up spider...on the wall...not the floor. At least there weren't any holes in the wall.

Figured I'd give you a laugh. That's what I have to do to keep from crying.

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Some of the just wonderfully stupid silly moments we have in our house... you gotta admit... they always keep us entertained...

Charmin is evidently evil...

...so we bought this 10 year old nice house in a nice upper middle class residential community just outside the city limits. Since we're not in the city, we do not have sewage, but instead have septic systems. Well, lately we have noticed that flushing just ain't working like it is supposed to, and as of yesterday, nothing, I MEAN NOTHING, was going anywhere but back up and onto our floor....

...so today Kelly gets the septic tank guys out and they find the tank, open it up, and it is literally full to the top... an 8 foot deep septic tank, FULL TO THE TOP. He said it needed to be drained every 3 to 5 years, and he guessed it had never been pumped in the 10 years of its existence. Then he said, "Ya'll use Charmin don't ya?" Kelly, said, "Yeah we do." "Naw... don't use Charmin... it's BAD! Just soaks it all up and swells up like a tick. It'll just fill your tank up with paper. Use AngelSoft instead. Good stuff."

So there you have it. Pump them septic tanks every 3-5 years. And for all that is good and wholesome, DON'T USE CHARMIN.

This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by "I had to take a spit bath in the sink this morning 'cos everything was stopped up."