(Belated) Ladies' Spring Fling Thing

OK. I was supposed to post a quick blog entry way back when Kel and the ladies in the family (including Kelly, my mother and two sisters, and two of my aunts and their daughters) linking to the pictures. Sorry, but I was a bad hubby and never got around to it. Anyway, here's one group pic (sans Kel since she was taking it). To see the whole set of pics, just go here:

Spring Fling Thing

You can click on View as Slideshow in the top right for a better viewing of all the pics...

Now THIS is small town Deep South...

Okay bones and threels, I know you can back me up on this one....

So Kelly is at Mitch's Field Day (basically a day off for the kids where they play games and stuff all day) yesterday, and is sitting besides the mothers of two other preschoolers while eating lunch in the classroom, and this is the conversation she overhears... (Names have been created and changed to protect the, um, well, convicted. You'll see...)

• Ellie May: "So how's Bubba doing, Mona?"
• Mona: "He's doing just fine. I looked up stuff on the internet and it looks like he may only have to serve 65% of the 30 years. So he oughta be out in about 20 years. And heck, he's already served 90 days!"

I am serious. That is a real conversation among mothers of preschoolers at a school-sponsored function. In the classroom. While eating lunch. With dozens of other adults present. And that sad thing is, no one (except) Kel, flinched one bit. Just another day in small town Deep South.

Later Kelly gets a better view of "Mona". She has a t-shirt on that has the owl and little boy from the old Tootsie Roll Pop commercial, with the caption, "Wanna lick?" on the front of the shirt.

Gotta love the prim and proper nature of the ladies down South.



Which reminds me of a good old standard down here:

Q: What is the mating call of a Southern Belle?

A: "I am SOOOOO drunk!"

Jetstream pens rock!

I just found my new favorite pen... well, apart from my nice little Mont Blanc roller ball.... hehehe...

Kelly came back from Staples with some of these pens... they are rollerball pens (which usually leak and run like an 80 year old woman after an all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet) which is nothing unusual. But they don't run, they don't smear, they dry almost instantly! I much prefer the rollerball pens to ball point pens because they tend to write smoother and darker. However, you always had the trade off of smearing your signature or whatever. Though I am right handed I can see how this kind of stuff would tick left hander's off! well search no more, you right brained/left handed people of the world!

Jetstream to the rescue!

Jetstream Uniball Pens

Oh, shut up. I am desperate to try to find time to blog daily, and I am easily entertained.

A talk on adolescent depression and suicide

I have to give a talk tonight at one of the local high schools on depression and suicide in children and adolescents. I have done this often when I lived in North Dakota, but t was always for peer youthworker training. This is supposed to be for parents and students, and they are expecting up to 400 people. So instead of just sitting on the back of a chair and informally talking to people in a small setting, I am having to do the whole Powerpoint presentation thing. Not my style, as I am typically much more comfortable just sitting down with people or kind of walking around the room... Gonna be a new experience for me.

Figured I would put a link to the Powerpoint presentation I am using. For most of the people who visit my site, this may not apply since they either don't have kids, have really young kids, or work in more tech related fields. Still, hopefully it will be of use to someone... Maybe it will turn up on a Google search for someone someday...

Depression and Suicide in Children and Teenagers

Now back to my normal boring, care free fare....

Those wacky college kids!

This is hilarious!

This is exactly what me and my buddies would have done when we were in college... First, for reference, I show you a link to the XBox360 "gunfight" commercial that got banned...

Banned Xbox Commercial

Now, look at what some bored and crazy University of Florida students did to try and recreate it...

Flash bang: Mob recreates 360 gunfight ad

What amazes me is the sheer number of people who organized themselves well enough to do it. Ah, higher education in the Spring.

Got soul? Taylor Hicks does.

American Idol: Contestants - Taylor Hicks

Hi, my name is Sean.

(Hi, Sean.)

I am an American Idol addict. I remember the first time I had to watch it when we moved back to Georgia and were staying with my parents until our house purchase was completed. I wasn't a fan of Fantasia but got sucked into the process.

Then came along Bo Bice last year. Um. A Southern rocker from Birmingham (where I sent four year in college)?! I was sold. I really got sucked into the whole process and mystique of the showall over again. But more so.

But now, comes Taylor.

Taylor Hicks just flat out rocks.

I mean, again we have a boy from Birmingham. And this time, we get the reincarnation of Ray Charles, Joe Cocker, Sam Cooke, and a bit of Elvis all rolled up into one. I am a big blues and soul music fan, and this stuff just exudes from the pores of this guy's skin!

I'm not one to pay to go to concerts, but he's the only guy I would pay to see that is out there right now. Not only is he an amazing soul/blues vocalist, but one heck of an entertainer as well.

Anyway, just wanted to post.

I'm gonna go back to listening to his CD, Under the Radar, along with an mp3 of Taylor's rendition of Georgia on my Mind... great stuff!

Jason McElwain: What a story!

The amazing story of Jason McElwain.

I had seen a snippet of this video the other day but only saw a kid hitting a three pointer and the crowd going nuts. I had no idea about the backstory. I searched around to find out more about it, and was simply amazed.

This kid is a 17 old senior who had always been the trainer for his basketball team. Never played a game. Never even dressed out. The coach allowed him to dress out the last game of the season as a reward for his dedication to the team. No intention of putting him in. But with 4 minutes left in the game, the coach put Jason in the game. What happened next is the stuff of movies.

Jason scored 20 points in 3 minutes, including 6 consecutive 3-pointers!

What's even more amazing?

Jason is autistic.

Here's a kid who is in Special Education classes, who has probably been made fun of a lot his whole life. But one person - a coach - treats him with respect (and obviously the teammates do as well), and look what an amazing thing can be done.

For me, with a cousin who was mentally retarded but had a story very similar to the movie Radio, and with a son who has special needs but is a beautiful little boy, I simply am mesmerized by this video. At the same time, I want to stay away from it because every time I watch it I cannot see it well due to the tears.

It may not have the same impact on all of you, but for those with special needs individuals in their lives, you know exactly what I am talking about.

Oh, and by the way, Magic Johnson and Columbia pictures have signed the movie rights to this story. I just hope they do it justice.

Only a true Southerner...

(Got this off a message board the other day and thought it was funny... some of it is soooo true. Now, pass the sweet tea...)

• Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them, you "PITCH" them.
• Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." ... and we ain't given our secrets away to no Yankees.
• Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
• Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly." The Cornish also know this secret, but they 'ain't tellin' either.
• Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
• All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
• Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
• Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
• Only a Southerner, both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
• No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. And when your mother says she's "getting' something out of the turtle shell, believe her!
• A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
• Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
• Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
• Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
• When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
  
• Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
  
• And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
  

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by our Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a Second Language!

And last but certainly not least, for those that are NOT born Southern but have lived here for a long, long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't originally from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Fat Bottomed Girls

Okay. Get ready for the next Connorism....

So he was having trouble sleeping last night, so Kelly and I let him come down and sit with us while we watched the American Idol results show. Now, for those of you that watch the show, you know that typically on Wednesday nights the person voted off sings their "losing song" at the end of the show. Well last night they let the bottom three each sing their song. This week's theme was songs from Queen. The resident country rocker Bucky Covington did a rendition of Fat Bottomed Girls. Well, Ace, the "boy band" looking guy did We Will Rock You which was the first song Connor had heard. Trying to be cool he was saying "That rocked!" and stuff like that. We were already getting kind of tickled at him. Then, Bucky is up getting ready to sing his choice, and Connor yells out, "Alright! I get to hear fat bottomed girls! That song rocks!" Then, realizing that he had just made a comment about women's appearance, turned to Kelly and said, "No offense, mom!"

I thought Kelly was about to choke on her drink and nearly fell off the couch she was laughing so hard! I was laughing my butt off (no pun intended) until I realized... Hey! If I had said that, it would have been decidedly UNFUNNY and I would have run the risk of a severely red cheek the rest of the night!

How come kids get to get away with so much! Ruins the fun for us adults!
LOL...

Top 7 reasons for bloglessness...

OK. So sue me. It has been another one of those dry spells with blogging. This has been due to a lot of things:

1. Work has just been so hectic lately that there simply is no down time. Either at home or at work.
2. My two older sons, Connor and Luke, have started baseball this year, which sux any other remaining time away. Games twice a week, practice at least once, and sometimes those games don't START until 7:30 in the evening! Which means that we're not home til after 9 pm, THEN have to get them ready for bed!
3. Because of all this, the house has been going to pot! This is no slam on me or the kids or Kel. This is simply a statement of fact. When you get at most one hour per day to even consider housework, it just ain't gonna happen my friend. Hiring a housekeeper is definitely on the horizon for the McKay household. Kel and I need it for our sanity.
4. 24. Enough said.
5. American Idol. Yes, I have been sucked into it. Actually I got sucked into it last year when we lived with my parents for a month while house hunting when we moved back to the South. They watch nothing but reality TV, and I have to admit I enjoyed both Bo and Carrie. So yep, the psychologist has gotten sucked into brainless fanboyist TV. I am an official member of Taylor Hicks' Soul Patrol. First, he's a Bama Boy. Second, he is NOT a rocker/country/boy band/crooner, which seems to be all AI has had in its history. Third, his souls and blues just flat out rocks. He's the only one on that show I'd actually pay money to see in concert.
6. GRAW. That's Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter for you Xbox 360 uninitiated types. Those of you who DO know me well know that I am a Ghost Recon addict/aficionado/freak, so it garnered a lot of my extra time.
7. Oblivion. The most dangerous of these things I saved for last. This game (for those of you who do not know, an Xbox 360 role playing game) can suck every waking moment if you let it. I have resisted that level of obsession, but only through Herculean efforts. It still has taken up way more time than I typically budget for gaming (Friday night has turned into Friday/Sunday/Monday/Wednesday/Thursday night lately).... This is one of those games that can easily grab 200+ actual hours of your time playing. Because the game is open-ended, it only really ends when your imagination does. Since I have a good imagination about this kind of stuff I can easily see this game sucking away a lot of my evening hours after everyone is in bed.

So do you see how I pretty much have no degrees of freedom left here?

The only reason I am getting to do this now is because I had a patient session end earlier than expected and I am just waiting on my next appointment. Got a good story about my 9 year old again from last night coming up next...

Thanks for your patience folks!