Hitchhiker's Guide to Crap

Ok. So I have seen the previews for the HHGG movie, and thought it looked funny. Since it is now out on DVD I thought I would give it a rent. But before I did, I wanted to read the book. Yes, even though I loved that kind of stuff when I was a kid/teen, I never read anything from the HHGG series. So I, um, "searched" around on the internet for an ebook version I could download to my PDA. I just finished reading it, and I can say is...

wow...

What a complete and total waste of several hours of my life!

HHGG had to be the most tedious, boring, unfunny, extremely poorly written, inane, disjointed, incomplete drivel I think I have ever read!

Go on, flame me. This book was so bad that I don't care how you try to convince me otherwise. It ain't happening. It started interestingly, with things left unsaid and potential character development and plot issues left enticingly undeveloped to pull you into the book. But it stayed there. You followed these guys along for the whole book, with things thrown out there for you to think, "Wow I wonder where that is going to go?" But then Douglas Adams never went back and did anything with it. It's like it was his own personal joke to throw people setups with no punch lines or follow-through. He just leaves them hanging out there. I can understand the abrupt ending since it was a series. But there were abrupt endings and dead ends throughout this waste of paper and pixels.

Wow. I am just floored that this book has such a following. No. I take that back. I am floored who this endless string of words has such a fan following. I cannot in good conscious actually call HHGG a "book." I feel that term is reserved for pieces of literature that have adequate plot, character development, and correct sentence structure and grammar. HHGG had none of that.

The one good thing is now I know I will be saving valuable hours of my life by not reading any more of this series.

Spit some milk out your nose...

I know a bunch of ya'’ll already know about this place, but I find myself forgetting about it, remembering it, sitting at the computer screen for over an hour laughing, and eventually forgetting it again for months until my memory gets triggered again. For those of you who don't know of the place, it is loaded with funny video clips, audio clips, pranks, flash animations, pictures, games, and so on. I just find myself sitting in front of the screen clicking....and clicking... and clicking... Granted, some of the stuff is a little too off color for my tastes, but a lot of it is fairly clean and hilarious!

The tag line for the site is:

eBaum's World - Media For The Masses - funny videos, flash games, jokes, clean humor, hilarious flash, funny pics, office humor, prank phone calls, flash cartoons, optical illusions, and tons more!

Long tag line, but it really is chock full of all that. My latest favorite is the kid in the National Spelling Bee competition who does a spot-on Napoleon Dynamite impersonation...

...anyway, nothing major to add... just thought you'd like a little milk-through-the-nose time waster resource...

I'm gettin' real tired, ya'll...

I'm getting burnt out. I am blessed with a very healthy practice right now, but cursed with no prospects for hiring a colleague to help out. I am seeing patients til 7:00 pm or 8:00 pm just about every night. I am booked solid (yes, no free slots at all at 60 hours per week) for the next month straight, and am booked daily for psychological evaluations through mid-November already. The only time I have now for the deluge of paperwork and reports is, well, right now. It is 11:38 pm. I was at the office at 7:00 am this morning working on reports. Started seeing patients at 8:00 am. Didn't stop til 8:00 pm.

Sorry to vent. But I am getting worn out.

And to top it off, coming home is no relief. For one, I have to bring work home. So it really isn't a break anyway. But the boys have been rough lately too. Well, those of you who know about my three sons know it is never a break at home, but it seems to have been especially stressful lately. I need time to decompress from the day and the stories I hear all day. And lately I just ain't getting that. It's a dangerous combination.

No, no need to call 911 or remove all sharps from my home. LOL... But I definitely am in the midst of a Job (that's the Biblical Job, not job, LOL) time of life, and definitely in an "Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood" moment.

For those inclined, pray for me and the practice and that I will find someone to hire on staff. For those not inclined, do it anyway. LOL

Thanks for letting me sit on the couch for a while.

See ya at the Pole... this is wonderful...

Now I have heard about the Youth Christian movement, and one of the things they do across the country, called See ya at the Pole (SYATP). This is a day when Christian teens in junior high and high schools meet at the flag pole in the front of their school before school begins for a time of worship, prayer, and meditation. When I lived in Bismarck I had a friend who is a youth pastor, and I remember him talking about going to the high schools to be with the youth as they did this. However, I have never seen it myself. Well, yesterday was SYATP day. As I was driving by my church, I saw a huge crowd at the flag pole in front. See, we are temporarily housing a private Christian school at my church for the next couple of years until the school gets their building completed. So of course, this doesn't surprise me that a Christian school would be involved in SYATP. But it made me curious about the other schools in town. It just so happens that one of the two main high schools in town is on my way to my office, so I made sure to drive by on the way. The front of this school is the "hang out" spot before school, where all cliques, groups, racial and ethnic conglomerations, and so on, congregate before the first bell. The flag pole s dead in the center of this mass of adolescent flesh and hormonology (LOL), so I was curious to see how faithful the Christian teens would be to SYATP in this environment. As I drove by, in the midst of all this stuff, I saw three separate rings of teens holding hands deep in prayer...focused on their internal worship and oblivious to the groups around them. It was wonderful to see about 50 teenagers in a public school unabashedly and unashamed in their faith, and boldly expressing that faith literally in the midst of their secular world.

I wish I had pictures of it. It was a powerful image.

To all you Christian teenagers out there, others are seeing what you are doing, and lives can be changed as a result. Rock on.

Just because I feel like it...

...thought I would post some old pics that I had put up on our old MSN XBLF pages... I know one is your personal favorite, LSG...LOL



Here, Lulu evidently got a little upset with ike... Hope he's okay... what will little ike do?!







And here, Lulu's foreman caught her dipping into Sluggy's Special Blend a bit too much....




First, we almost didn't make to Guntersville for our Annual River Trip.....
...and then this really put a damper on the trip and slowed us down a bit!



Yep... it is getting to be close to good ol' deer season down south... but I think that the deer are mounting a coup this year... I fear their dreaded Bambi Kamikazee Squadron... here's the carnage that can happen when they die for their cause...




What can I say? This guy was just an idiot. Or blind. Or both.

And for LSG, her personal favorite....

Innocence shattered...

So I have decided I am gonna try to put at least one thing on this blog daily, even if it is just a one line quote or something... but today, I have something kind of sad...

So Kelly calls me as I am going to pick up a prescription for our 9 year old son, Connor, and says, "Well, Connor learned the hard way not to stick his middle finger out today." Turns out he was standing in line for something at school, and a kid next to him said something about something having wet paint on it. Connor wiped on it with his middle finger - yes, the bird finger - and held it up to the boy and said, "See? That paint isn't wet." Well, when this kid saw the middle finger held up in front of him, he evidently freaked out. He called the teacher over to them and told her Connor flipped him off. Connor has no clue about "the bird" - he is the most loving, caring, soft-hearted, and generally innocent boy I know - and freaked out likewise because he had no clue why he was getting in so much trouble. His teacher started lambasting him about how inappropriate and rude his behavior was and that he should never do that again and so on and so forth. Connor was trying his best to explain what happened but his teacher kept interrupting him and never let him speak or explain.

Poor Connor comes home with the dreaded "red note" from his teacher to Kel and me telling us that he should be "taught how inappropriate his behavior was" or some such garbage. He asks Kelly if she knows what is so bad about the middle finger, and playing dumb she says, "No Connor, what is so bad about the middle finger?" He says, "See?! You don't know either!" He told Kelly, "She wouldn't let me explain! I tried to tell her the only reason I used that finger was because of the wart on my other finger." See, he has this little seed wart on his pointing finger and is embarrassed by it. Further, Connor tends to use his middle finger a lot in pointing, like when he is reading and following the words in his book, and so forth.

So here's this poor innocent kid who does something innocent. But because of our jaded and antisocial and post-Columbine society, it is assumed that he is being aggressive and harassing when that couldn't be further from the truth!

Chaps my hide something fierce I tell ya!

Needless to say, Kelly called Connor's teacher immediately and tried to explain. But his teacher maintained her annoyed tone and basically told us that we need to do a better job in preparing our children for this crappy, antisocial, and harassing society we live in. Thank you for the advice, Ms. Latimore. But I think I would like for my innocent child to remain innocent as long as he can. Society is going to taint him soon enough.

While I was at the pharmacy picking up his prescription, I bought Connor some pads to help get rid of that wart.

Maybe that kid and Ms. Latimore will wake up with some tomorrow.

The new phone books are here! (Sort of...)

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here! Sort of…

Well, that’s how I felt… a full-on Steve-Martin-The-Jerk-running-through-the-gas-station moment when Microsoft finally revealed the formal release date for the Xbox 360 in the US… November 22. At midnight I presume.

Though a bunch of people (well, Brian at least…LOL) are not happy with this date – so close to Thanksgiving holiday and the dreaded after Thanksgiving shopping frenzy, I am lovin’ it! Having my own business where, if I don’t work and see patients, I don’t make my house payment and little Johnny doesn’t get the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip for Christmas, means that frivolously taking days off are out of the question. So launching the week or two before, or the week after, would mean that I would pick up my 360 at midnight on Tuesday, then just get teased for the next four days as I had to work every day til Friday. Now, I get to pick it up Tuesday at midnight, and toy with it a teeny bit for a couple of nights until Thursday when I will have two days off for the holiday!

w00t!

One major question down… two to go:

1. What are going to be the confirmed day-of-launch titles? With rumors flying about Perfect Dark Zero (what was supposed to be the ‘halo’ of this generation’s launch) being delayed til December, it makes me worry about my most desired titles, Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter and Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion…


2. What is the final backwards compatible title list for day-of-launch? I had only planned to keep Far Cry Instincts and Ghost Recon 2 Summit Strike, and maybe Morrowind. However, with the news that game saves cannot be transferred, I have to decide if I am chucking Morrowind or keeping the old Xbox. Also, given what may be a shrinking Xbox 360 launch day release list, I may want to hold on to more current gen games. Because of all this, that BC title list for launch day is crucial. C’mon Bill and J! Throw us a bone here, will ya?!

Only 68 days to go and counting… Anybody got an extra cryogenics chamber lying around so I can go into cryogenic stasis til Monday the 21st?

Oh! And one other thing! Microsoft reportedly did a video spoof with Bill Gates and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) in which Bill hires Napoleon to work at Microsoft! That has to be hilarious! If anyone finds it, please send it to me!

The Old Man and the Court...

What can I say?

I do not play tennis, nor do I follow it closely. I do tend to follow certain tennis players that I like and keep up with their careers no matter where they are playing, as well as follow the Grand Slam events closely every year. And I just have to give out kudos to one of my all-time favorites, Andre Agassi. At 35 (Mr. Dinosaur in the tennis world), he gave us an amazing story to watch as this year's US Open progressed. From missing out on the French open and Wimbledon due to chronic back injury and hints of retirement, he blessed us with his typical (though more understated as he has aged) style and finesse. Watching him smash through the early rounds was enjoyable. Watching him outlast and outwit the young guns in the Quarterfinals and Semifinals was thrilling - never bet against Andre in a 5 setter, even at age 35. But then came the proverbial brick wall. For Andre, who has played the likes of Connors, McEnroe, Lendl, Edberg, Sampras, and so on, to say that Federer is the best he has ever played against is quite the statement. Watching the final was like watching someone push a boulder up a hill. Even if Andre played perfect tennis, Federer's game is so flawless that even on an off day he will beat anyone at anytime. Andre looked like he had a spark in him when he won the second set and actually thought he might be able to pull off what everyone, including himself, thought was impossible. Beat Federer in the Final. When he was up a break in the third set, even I began to believe. But when Federer broke back to get back on serve in the third. It seemed as if the wind left Agassi's sails, and no matter what he tried, nothing would stop the Federer Wall. He managed the defeat with style and grace - admittedly more so no than in his early career. However, if you looked close, you saw him wincing at the pain in his back during the awards ceremony, and as he talked, you saw the look in his eye that said, "New York. This may be my last. I love you."

The best image of the tourney, though, was after the semifinal match when you saw Andre playing his other role, Daddy, to his two little children. Watching them run to him in the runway and him grabbing them for a big hug showed that the once brash rebel has turned onto a softer, more gentle, more well-rounded person beyond tennis. Bravo, Andre.

Here's to hoping we get to see more of you in the future.

Game, set, match.

ARE YOU READY?!

I CAN BREATHE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

No more holding my breath for 7 months…. FOOTBALL IS HERE!!!

Starting with my FSU Seminoles thankfully getting the Miami Hurricane albatross off their backs after six years… all because of a missed field goal! How ironic… my UAB Blazers went into Tennessee and almost pulled off a win… another up-and-coming NCAA football program…

But my baby of babies… the NFL.

The season starts tonight, and as usual I am in two fantasy football leagues. And as usual, I am not completely happy with my roster. A stud here and there, but no depth. Why does that always happen? I see some of my friends’ rosters, and they have a stud or two but are DEEP as well. Weird. I guess I just suck at drafting. Oh well. Heck, I have already hit the waiver wire once in each league and the season hasn’t even started!

Tonight’s opening night… New England vs. Oakland. Should be a great game, though I expect the Patriots to end up with the win. Even though they have had some changes to their team this year, you just can’t bet against the Pats these days…

Burning questions of the season:

• Will Seattle break away from the “unrealized potential/underachiever” label this year and actually do something? (On a personal note for me, will Shaun Alexander be in a Seahawks uniform next season?)
• Will the “Glass guys”… Fred Taylor, Michael Bennett, Chris Brown, and the rest, make through the season unharmed? Will they make it through a game? Will they make it through a quarter?
• Will Vick have a “breakout year” everyone has been predicting in the new west Coast offense in Atlanta (for what, the third year already)?
• Which rookie RB’s will have the breakout year and be considered a stud at the end… Cedric Benson, Cadillac Williams, Ronnie Brown, Willie Parker?
• Will Ricky Williams light up a big fat hog at the end of games? Will he yoga at 50 yard line at half? Will he pack up and go home because he is shy?
• Who will have the MVP year? Who will be the busts of the year? Which team will surprise us all? Which team will disappoint us all?
• How will the New Orleans Saints even begin to be able to focus on their season, after Katrina?

There you go. Are you ready for some football?!

Talk amongst ya’selves…

It's all about serving others...MyFamilyCanHelp.com

What a wonderful sign of people who seem to “get” the fact that it isn’t about us, but what we can do to serve others… Some friends of mine I have known for the last few years have put together a website in order to link families in need with families who can help provide much needed stability and shelter to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

I would appreciate it if you could take a moment and visit MyFamilyCanHelp.com. If you are a family looking for temporary living arrangements as a victim of Hurricane Katrina, or if you are a family that can offer your home as shelter, this site will be able to help make those much needed connections.

Those of you who cannot offer up your home, could you PLEASE visit the site here and take one of their banners to place on your website, blog or email signature? The victims of Katrina need your help and would be very grateful. Thank you so much!!

To Jay and the gang, thank you for what you are doing! Our country needs more people like this doing whatever they can to help.

The idiocy and superficiality of youth

So I had someone IM me asking me when I was gonna add more to The Same Routine (though why they are interested is beyond me... something about wanting to know about the 'accident' - must be a NASCAR fan - loves watching for the 10 car pile ups... just kidding you-know-who-you-are...). I simply have so little time that I haven't had time to even begin to continue that thing. I plan to, just no time at the moment. Since I am writing it steam-of-consiciousness style, with no laid out plot outline/character development (choosing to see how it turns out doing all that on the fly), I have to sit and read over what I wrote a bit to get be back into the mindset.

Until I have time to do that, I had planned on throwing up some of my old poems I wrote in high school and college. I pulled out my old composition book with all of it in there, and was apalled at what I read... I thought this stuff was profound and good at 15... 16... 18... 20... It was embarrassing to even read most of it!

So shallow, and so superficial, and so stereotypical for adolescent pains and rantings. There were only a couple I could really even stand to read...

Maybe I will put up one of the lesser of the evils that I call my adolescent writings, but my goodness they are BAD! I warn you... read them at your own risk.

LOL